What's In a Name?

There have been days in which some students seem to think we should stop calling the process college admissions and, instead, call it college rejections.  Why do they become so cynical and discouraged?

In the ‘70s, many students told me they wanted to do something important in life.  They wanted to use their education in order to improve society.  By the ‘80s, everything had changed.  K-12 education was about doing what was necessary to get into a “good” college, which inevitably would lead to a “good” graduate school and then to a “good” job, which was thought to be the sole ticket to success in life.  Not developing the mind, but getting into the right college became the mantra, the raison d’etre, for education.  In middle school, a student told me that B+ on a test was not acceptable because it wouldn’t get her in to the right college, which her father insisted meant Harvard and nowhere else.  A high school student wanted advice about which extra-curricular activity to sign up for.  He wanted to know what would look better to colleges. 

Our culture places great importance on not just getting a college education, but getting it from the “right” school.  In some parts of this country, this message is overtly inculcated starting in elementary school.  We place great burdens on our children, and then we seem to tell them that they are not good enough to get that prized golden ring.

I work with students who start out having high hopes for their future.  They have those dreams of getting into good colleges, at least until they see their SAT scores.  Suddenly they feel as if someone has stamped their forehead with a neon “NOT IVY LEAGUE QUALITY – FAILURE FOR LIFE.” 

We put so much pressure on adolescents, and we’ve done it for so long that we do not even pause to think if it makes sense.  We now give PSATs in the sophomore year.  Sure, we say they don’t count, but everyone knows better.  Because PSATs are predictive of SAT scores, and everyone knows how important they are, students know PSATs are important.  But nothing brands a student like a hard number.  It’s not easy being a 55 when society values 70s and above. 

Adolescents walk into living rooms to say hello to friends of their parents and are asked, “What colleges are you applying to?”  This is a well-meant, innocent question, but it can hurt just as if the students had been cut by some sort of emotional knife if the colleges are not well-known, highly competitive schools. 

What we adults often fail to realize is that this is the first time students have had to market themselves, and they are doing it while they are still trying to discover themselves and emerge from adolescence.  We adults have had to apply for a job.  We’ve sold a product.  We’ve negotiated a contract or closed a deal.  We know how to play the game.  But this is the first time students have had to do any of this.  And they are doing it with people they do not know, when they do not fully understand the strategies and procedures. 

If you have ever had to make cold calls, think of what those first few calls were like.  The chances are you put them off because you were afraid of rejection.  It probably took you a while to realize that negative responses from potential customers were made about the product you were marketing, not about you.  Students are just starting out.  They are adolescents.  They do not have the life perspective of an adult, yet.  The college application process is confusing, scary, and sometimes overwhelming.  Adolescents are sensitive.  They know the names of colleges that carry social approval.  Saying they are applying to some other school that is not as well known can be embarrassing and painful.  No one wants to feel as if they are a failure.

No wonder so many students don’t want to talk with their parents about college admissions.  They feel vulnerable.  They feel as if all of their weaknesses are exposed. 

When I work with a student, I take the time to talk about values and self-image.  I ask, “What increases the odds that a person will rise to the top, be a success, become a leader in a chosen field?”  Does a name school really guarantee success?  I often mention the names Eureka and Southwest Texas State Teachers College.   A student will give me a confused look.  What do these colleges have to do with anything?  Those were the schools attended by Ronald Reagan and Lyndon Johnson, arguably two highly successful individuals.  A student does not need to attend the top schools to be successful and to be happy in life.

We talk about whether success is built around the consequences of admissions formulas and procedures or around internalized values.  We talk about whether happiness is defined by the hoops we have to jump through or by our self-knowledge and what we bring to life.  Do these conversations sink in?  I don’t know, but I hope a seed is planted.

We role-play, and we practice how to respond to those well meant but hurtful questions.  We also role-play how to sell oneself in an interview when society tells us bragging is poor form. 

We find something positive about each school to which a student applies, something that makes the student really want to go there.  We acknowledge that we hope for a letter of acceptance from the first choice school, and we agree that a rejection will be disappointing, but we know we can get through that and then find reasons to be happy if the student gets into any other school on the list.

Is this worth it?  Oh yes, it most certainly is.  When a student says, “Thank you.  This turned out to be the perfect school for me, and I learned so much about myself during the admissions process,” it is definitely worth it.

To Parents: Understanding College Admissions Stress

The college admissions process is a time of anxiety for both students and parents.  Parents of even the easiest adolescent find the college application process to be stressful.  Understanding the sources of stress can help them reduce the tensions that often arise at home.

Watching a child procrastinate as deadlines approach is not easy.  All appearances to the contrary, most students really do care.  For them, college is a tangible milestone, a real indication that they are growing up, and the application process becomes a kind of rite of passage.  College is seen as an opportunity to pursue academic interests and to try new things, and it is recognized as a bridge to their future.  They really do know that there is a lot riding on their application.  But there is also a real degree of fuzziness in their understanding of college, of what will happen there and how it differs from high school, and, I believe, there is a certain level of fear.  Think about it.  You’ve applied for jobs.  You’ve sold a product.  You’ve negotiated and closed a contract.  You know how to play the game.  For almost every student, this is the first time they have had to market themselves, and they have to do it with someone they do not know and probably have not met.  And the stakes are so very high.  Of course they are frightened. 

Let me try to paint this picture from a slightly different perspective.  Do you have to make cold calls?  How many times did you put off that first call because of fear of rejection?  Students are no different.  Rather than let procrastination be a source of stress, help your child organize those papers.  Create a viable schedule.  Be a resource, and do not let writing the essay and completing the application papers become a source of stress for you.

Some of the pressure parents and students feel is societal.  We live in a status symbol culture.  We have to drive the right car, wear the right clothes, and go to the right places.  Students know that they are supposed to go to the right college.  Even if they say they do not care about going to an Ivy League school, they see their friends applying to those schools.  Applying to or attending any other college can be a source of shame.   Don’t burden your child with the need to go to the right school.  Tell him/her that what defines ‘right’ is the college that best suits his or her needs at the moment.

Some students think they will be unhappy if they don’t get into their top choice.  Certainly they will be disappointed if that happens, but resiliency is a lesson that must be learned in life.  Have a conversation early on.  Tell your child that you hope for the best, but if things don’t work out that way, you know s/he will survive and be happy elsewhere.  Studies have shown that there is no connection between future happiness and the college that was attended, but going to the wrong school for the wrong reasons can cause all sorts of difficulty.

When a student enters 9^th grade, everything at school suddenly seems to become college centered.  “You need to take as many honors and A.P. courses as you can.”  “You’ve got to improve those SAT scores.”  “You need to take this subject for at least three years if you want to impress a college.”  Teachers can inadvertently pass on stress.  Those who teach Advanced Placement courses are evaluated, at least in part, on how well their students do on the test.  Whether intentionally or not, that pressure to excel is ever present in those classes.  Some days, it seems as if all that matters is college.  I hear this when a student tells me, “My teachers think their course is all that is important in life.”  Read between the lines and listen to what is really being said.  Talk with your child and provide a calming viewpoint that puts college into perspective.  Removing stress from your child means less friction at home.

Colleges themselves create pressure for both students and parents.  Recruitment is a high priority and begins for some students when they are in the 10^th grade.  They might be met at the airport and driven to the college.  After meeting the key people in the department and told all sorts of wonderful things, the student might be given tickets to a concert.  This seduction is hard to resist for anyone, let alone a fifteen- or sixteen-year old.  Publications are being sent earlier than ever, just after a student takes the PSAT.  There are so many choices available to students, and the process is overwhelming.  Rolling and early decision means the application process is accelerated.  It seems as if everything has to be finished yesterday.  Parents can play a very helpful role in acting as a sounding board for essays, keeping on top of deadlines, and being a voice of reason.

Students put pressure on themselves.  Walk into a student lounge, especially when the students are Juniors and Seniors, and what do you hear?  “My guidance counselor said I should apply to School X, but it’s not good enough.”  (That’s really hard to hear if School X just happens to be your reach school.)  “I am going to take the SATs again.  All I need is another 50 points to get a perfect score.”  (Imagine how the student who struggles to earn a score in the 500s must feel when hearing that kind of statement.)  Talk with your child.  Ask what other students are saying.  Give the opportunity to vent and to express anxiety.  A helpful line to use is, “College admissions is not about them, it’s all about you and doing what is right for you.”

I live and work in a competitive, well-to-do community, where students in elementary grades talk about the college they will attend.  They’re too young to understand what they are really saying, but this tells me that getting into the “right” college is very much on parents’ minds.  Parents can be a source of stress.

There are some aspects of the college application process that are appropriately worrisome.  Watching a child who pays more attention to preparing for tomorrow’s history test than to filling out application papers is always difficult.  Parents know that college means their child is about to leave the nest.  Most parents are concerned about how to pay the high costs of tuition plus incidentals.  That’s enough to give anyone a few sleepless nights.  Parents worry about whether their child will get into his or her first choice.  No one wants to see their child disappointed.  These worries are normal.  Sometimes, however, parents add unnecessary stress.

Every year, I encounter a parent who will only consider one college.  No other school is good enough.  Perhaps it was the school s/he attended or one that has name recognition.  The reality is that colleges change.  No school is the way it was twenty or more years ago.  One person’s fond memories won’t be another person’s reality. That is not how life works.  Applying to a school because it is well known is probably the last reason why a school should be selected.  Research has shown that the reputation of a college has little or no bearing on whether a person will be successful later in life.  The college that the parent is fixated on might not be appropriate for the student.  Accepting that the child has different aspirations and different talents can sometimes be very difficult for parents.  The question that I often ask is, “Whose life is it?” 

Sometimes parents think they should call the shots because they are paying the bill.  They want their child to attend a highly competitive, prestigious school.  The student wants to attend a smaller, more intimate school that offers a good education but without the high-octane pressure.  I’ve learned to listen to students.  They often know themselves better than their parents.  Parents who fail to hear what their children are saying can add to the stress and cause some very real problems in their relationship. 

My advice is to talk.  Start early and talk often.  I tell parents to share their thoughts and concerns, but also to listen to their children.  Be supportive and understanding, not autocratic.  Give the student time to internalize the message, and then re-visit it if necessary.  Work through the process together.  Of course there will be anxious moments, there always are, but talking really helps. 

Organizing Computer Files

If you take notes on your computer, if you use a computer to write your papers, if you use your computer to do homework, you need to know where you saved your documents.  Being unable to find a paper is unacceptable.

My Documents is the default location to which papers are stored.  I prefer to save them my desktop, where I can work on them and then drag them to their final destination. 

Create a folder called School.  Then create a separate folder for each subject.  A student should have separate folders for English, math, science, history, language, and any other subject you take.  Drag each of these subject folders into the school folder.

In each subject folder, subfolders for each topic or unit can be created.   For example, in the English folder, a student might have subfolders for Essays, Grammar and Spelling, Literature, and Tests and Quizzes.  In the Literature folder, there might be a subfolder for Hamlet, one for Grapes of Wrath, and another for poetry.  Each of these folders can have subfolders.  In the Hamlet folder, there could be a folder for Notes&Discussion and another for Papers. 

Seeing this schema presented visually can help some students understand the concept:

Imagine that you have been studying Hamlet and you wrote a paper about the impact of Hamlet’s murder of Pelonius.  Save the paper to the Desktop.  Give it a descriptive name.  Do not use symbols (slash marks, dashes, or periods) that will confuse the computer.   Do not choose English_Hamlet for the paper’s name.  You are going to put the paper in the English folder and you do not need to be redundant.  Instead, you might choose Hamlet&Pelonius as a title. 

If you are saving many exercises that bear the same name, you might use a name and date.  If you are studying Spanish, you will be given many vocabulary lists. You might title one list Vocab Oct 15.  The next day’s list would be Vocab Oct 16.  Both of these documents will be dragged into a folder called Vocabulary that will be found in the Spanish folder. 

Whether you keep these folders on your desktop or put them in My Documents or transfer them to a cloud storage system is up to you.  Many students prefer to keep the School folder on the desktop, where it is always in sight.  Seeing it reminds them they have to save and properly store every document so it can more easily be retrieved. 

You will be much less likely to lose a paper if you get used to organizing your papers this way.

Where Do You Study?

When I’m asked to help a student develop better organizational skills, I will ask, “Where do you do your homework?”  The majority of times the answer is, “On my bed.” 

The bed is not a great place to work.  It is the place that is associated it with sleep or maybe the place where books are read for pleasure.  It is not associated with serious work.  Also, students are tired after a long day at school.   Without getting into all the biochemistry, when they lie down on the bed to do their homework, a hormone can be released that tells the brain, “Relax.  We’re getting ready to go to sleep.”  That is not the right signal to send when doing homework. 

Whether sitting up or lying down, penmanship will suffer when we write while on a bed.  [A bit of aside: “But it is only homework,” I’m told.  This is an example of stinkin’ thinkin.’  Ultimately, it is self-damaging.  Now counseling enters into the tutoring processing.  I begin the process of changing the student’s self-image and goals.  We move from a position of, “I don’t care,” to “Okay, I’ll compromise,” to the ultimate goal – “I’m willing to approach my work in a serious and organized manner.”  Parents often complain that their child’s teachers don’t teach these skills.  Of course they don’t.  Some don’t have the counseling skills, but most do not have the time required to change behaviors.  Teachers are really over-worked these days; it is all they can do to teach their classes and keep up with the other demands on their lives.]

I recommend studying at a desk.  To help a student get started, we’ll sometimes draw a picture of the desk and set it up on paper so that it becomes an effective work station.  The second-best place to study is a table in a common area in the home.  The kitchen is the place most easily chosen.  Sometimes having a parent present to provide structure and help a student develop self-discipline is necessary, but the goal will be to help the child grow so s/he can study independently of adult supervision.  The problem with studying in the kitchen is that there are too many distractions.  People come and go, someone is cooking and making noise, the phone rings… all of which interfere with a student’s ability to concentrate. 

After each assignment is completed, it has to be put away and the work area returned to its original condition.  When the student takes a break, I recommend turning around (actually, I recommend standing up and walking away from the desk in order to oxygenate the brain).  The desk is the study area.  The rest of the room is the non-work area.  Associating the desk with work is going to produce results that are more effective than studying on the bed.

Educational Myths

There are numerous educational myths that teachers accept as matter of fact.  One of the longest kept is the belief that students have a preferred learning style.  Proponents of learning style pedagogy believe that students are naturally visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learners and need to be taught in ways that match that style. [There is a five-domain model, but keeping with this more traditional and simpler schema will serve the purpose].  Visual learners, we are told, need to see what they are learning.  They need diagrams and charts and models.  Venn diagrams, flow charts, and concept mappings are supposed to appeal to these students.  Auditory learners learn best by hearing well-structured explanations.  Kinesthetic learners need to manipulate physical objects, e.g. counting cubes. 

What happens when a child is tested?  If we administer an auditory test to a random population of students whose preferred learning styles had been identified, we would expect the auditory learners to do better than the visual or kinesthetic learners.  But that does not happen.  Auditory learners’ scores show the same distributions as students classified with other learning style preferences. 

Let me as blunt as possible: learning style theory is hogwash!

Although the model is based on false premises, the strategies that were developed to help each style of learning are actually very good.  Good teachers intuitively use combinations of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic teaching techniques.  Tutors help their students learn by using at least two techniques in combination. 

These approaches are supported by brain research.  We know that learning is associated with making connections between nerve cells and then strengthening those connections.  When we link new material with something that has already become part of the life experience of the student, we are making a neural connection that helps give relevancy to the new information.  When we use combinations of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic teaching strategies, we are providing the brain with opportunities to make more neural connections.   

Most students use two types of strategies at any one time, and those categories change according to the activity involved. They might draw a diagram and then explain the function of each part of the picture.  When memorizing vocabulary, they might write the word in the air and then pace the floor while reciting the answer out loud.  When we teach with this kind of brain-based approach, we are better equipped to help our students learn.

Summer Reading – Writing the Killer Book Report

You just finished school and you’ve been given another summer reading list.  Most students don’t like summer assignments, so they put off reading until the last minute, race through the books, and then write really poor reports.  Not surprisingly, they feel a combination of resentment and guilt.  Summer reading does not have to be this way.  

Soar For Success wants to make this assignment easier for you.   We developed this list because we think it gives structure to an otherwise vague assignment.

1. Choose the right books 

Most schools provide a list of suggested books and ask you to read two books.  Don’t select books that you think you should read; you are not trying to impress someone else.  This is the summertime.  Choose books that really look interesting, that you will want to read.  If you are unsure, ask a friend for advice, someone with tastes similar to yours.    

2. The book report

Before you start reading, you need to know about the book report.  This knowledge will help you know how to approach your books.

Book reports have three sections – an introduction, a section that describes the book, and a section containing your reactions to the book.  What follows is a list of aspects of the book to look for as you read.  You won’t write about every one of these features, and you may well add some of your own, but this list will give you focus while you read.

a. The introduction

Begin with a “grabber”  [“How would you behave if you were on the front lines of a major battle?”].  Give a very brief summary of the book and also give the genre (epic, tragedy, comedy, biography, novel, fiction, short story, history, creative non-fiction), title, author and publication information [“No Less Than Victory by Jeff Shaara (Ballantine Books, 2009) is a fictionalized history of the Battle of the Bulge.  Shaara is an expert at vividly presenting history as seen through the eyes of key participants.  This device allows the reader to understand the spirit of the military and the horror of war while learning about the details of this battle.”].    The introductory paragraph does not need to be more than 3-4 sentences. 

b. Section 1 – fiction

Give a concise summary of the plot, including the climax and resolution.  Describe the setting and point of view (who is telling the story).  Was there an important subplot?  Describe the protagonist and other main characters.  What did they do?  What was their motivation?  What is the theme or the lesson?  What is the mood or tone of the book?  What were the recurring symbols?  Include quotes to support what you write.  This section might consist of several paragraphs.

d. Section 2 – fiction - your reaction to the book

Was the book engaging?  Was it interesting, moving, inspiring, or dull?  Were the characters well developed and believable?  Was conflict believable and was its resolution effective?  How effective were the various elements of the book?  How does this book compare with other books of the same genre?  What were the book’s unusual characteristics?  This section might consist of several paragraphs.

c. Section 1 – non-fiction

Give a summary of the author’s topic.  You are not expected to summarize each chapter; just give an overview.  Describe the time period, the major events around which the book is based, the geographical setting, or other important settings.  What were the most significant points in the author’s thesis or argument (this is often presented in the introduction, so be sure to read it).  How is the book structured?  Is it arranged chronologically, by the characters’ involvement, or in some other way?  Include quotes to support what you write.  This section might consist of several paragraphs.

d. Section 2 – non-fiction – your reaction to the book

Do you think the author succeeded?  How effective were the various elements of the book?  Did the author present a convincing thesis?  How does this book compare with other books of the same genre?  Do you agree with the author’s conclusions? Was the book interesting, moving, inspiring, or dull?  What were the book’s unusual characteristics?  This section might consist of several paragraphs.

e. Last paragraph

Regardless whether you are writing about a work of fiction or non-fiction, the last paragraph in the second section is the wrap-up.  Were there unanswered questions?  Did you learn anything from the book?  Did it change or re-affirm you life view?  Do you recommend this book to others?  This paragraph does not need to be more than about 3 sentences long.

3. Reading the book.

Now that you know what to write, you can create a worksheet on which to record important information as you read.  Keep the book report contents in front of you while you read.  For a novel, you might record the name of the protagonist, his/her behavioral characteristics, or a key quote that shows how s/he interacts with other characters.  Read at a desk and take notes while you read.  Then you will have all the material you need for a good report, and the writing process will be much easier.

I Test Poorly

“I test poorly.”  How many times have I heard a student tell me that?  I almost know what the next line will be.  If we are talking about an academic subject, it will be, “I study hard, but I just keep getting bad grades.”  If we are talking about SAT exams, it will be, “I get good grades in school, but I got a low score.”

In the first situation, my response is to ask the student to describe how s/he studies for a test.  Almost always, I hear something like, “I read over my notes and then look at the text.”  My response is not quite as blunt as, “You’re not preparing for the test.  All you are doing is re-reading and becoming familiar with the material.  Let’s talk about how to memorize.”  Nevertheless, that is the gist of the message I convey.  This student is fooling him/herself.  Reading notes a couple of times is not learning; only some of the material will be retained.  Learning – memorizing – is really hard work.  The reason this student has been doing poorly on tests is because s/he does not know how to learn.  Very few teachers actually teach how to memorize.  Schools behave as if students inherited a genetic package called How To Learn.  That’s not the way it works.  Some of us may be better at learning than others, just as some of us are better at sports, but we all need to be taught how to learn, just we all need to learn how to improve in a sport.  Teachers assume that the students walking into their classrooms in September have learned study skills in some earlier class.  In fairness to teachers, they are asked to do so much that teaching how to study is usually more than they can handle.  They just don’t have the time. 

Tutors teach students the missing skills.  If the students are willing to do the hard work that is required, they learn new behaviors, and their school work starts to improve.   I never get tired of looking at those smiles when everything starts to click for a child.

The second situation is different.  Students who do poorly on the SATs often do not know how to approach SAT questions.  This exam is not like any school test, and to do well, the student needs to know, practice, and internalize test-taking strategies that are unique to the SAT.  I tell students that it is not that they do not test well but, rather, that they do not know how to take the test.  Again, tutors can help. 

I also see another factor that influences a student’s poor score.  I have worked with individual students who were weak in math or who had a poor working knowledge of grammar and punctuation, and I work on remediating those areas.  But virtually all of my students have weak vocabularies.  Clearly, these students will not perform successfully in the vocabulary section, but they also will suffer in the reading comprehension sections.  The ETS loves to ask questions like, “In line 7, another word for xyz is….”  How can a student with a poor vocabulary answer this type of question?  I have observed these students incorrectly answering as many as 2/3 of the vocabulary-based question.  We’re not talking about obtuse, rarely used words.  These students are unfamiliar with words like satire, ironic, prejudicial, adhesive, or tempestuous.  No amount of SAT-prep course work or tutoring will help a student if they do not know what a question is asking.  The message is clear: start building your vocabulary now, and learn and practice those strategies.